Is This Really My Life?

I'm sure you've had these moments where something causes you to step outside yourself and say "What the hell?" Yesterday afternoon near the end of a mind-numbing work day I heard myself ask a caller: "Did he throw the knife at someone, or did he just throw the knife?" What series off odd decisions led me to a place where this is a perfectly mundane thing to say at work? Whatever these decisions were, I am happy to be replacing them with some fresh "I just washed them...five days ago" new ones. (Sorry for the completely random '90s Bounty commercial quote. It just came out.)

I officially have 25 work days and 35 actual days left until I take my leave of absence. It's really starting to hit me now that my life is about to change. The strangest part is how simple it all really is. I got myself into this cubicle with a series of small decisions (and a few big ones) and I'm getting myself out the same way. I, of course, had to make the big decision to take a leave of absense from work and spend the majority of our savings on tuition, but that in itself won't change anything.

In September it will all be over and the daily small decisions that will really make a difference will just be beginning. I'll be back in this cubicle having completely run out of excuses for not doing what I really love. I will be forced to face my insecurities and control issues and start peddling my wares on my own. I will be very interested to read what my September-self has to say, because right now I can't even imagine it. And that is very exciting.